Monday, June 23

I need to clear my head...

two weeks ago a very dear friend of ours passed, and it has me in a strange place. In a fog I suppose. I can't seem to make sense of this. Someone so young... 47, the father of 4 who need him very much. He was the primary care giver since his divorce years ago. Not just their father, but a wonderful one at that. The only man I know who would (and did) join the Girls Scouts when his youngest daughter wanted to be a Brownie. They both joined and at 6 ft, and over 200 lbs he too got his membership card, and took his daughter to the meetings. This from a man who worked in Alaska in the oil industry. Such a big hearted guy, who did anything for his family and friends. For years we raised our kids with his, doing the family thing together... days at the beach, backyard BBQ's, swimming, camping trips. My gosh my husband even named his only son who was born on my husbands birthday! We spent so much time with them, and we are so lucky to have had him as our friend.
This is the first time I think I've ever felt depressed. I guess that's what it is. I walk around with a cloudy head worried about his children, and wondering how this wonderful guy could be gone. It scares me for my own family, my own husband... knowing that this happens to too many. It's not as though I am without faith. I just feel scared. I find myself looking at my husband when he sleeps and making sure he's breathing. I feel such overwhelming sadness. I guess it's part of the process. But it has shaken me to my core...
I pray for peace. Peace of mind, freedom from this worry, peace for his children and their broken hearts. I pray for his Mother who relied greatly on him, as her own husband passed years ago. Pray for them too won't you please.
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